Holy Cross Academy of Sasa Batch '88

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 jowk time 3

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manny



Number of posts : 189
Registration date : 2007-06-05

PostSubject: jowk time 3   Thu Jun 07, 2007 7:16 am

Stress Reliever # 1

Wife: You always carry my photo in
your handbag to the office. Why?

Hubby: When there is a problem, no
matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and
powerful I am for you?

Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say
to myself, "What other problem can
there be greater than this one?"

_______________________________________
_______________________________



Stress Reliever # 2



Girl: When we get married, I want to
share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling,
But I don't have any worries or
troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't
married yet.

_______________________________________
______________________________



Stress Reliever # 3



Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with
Dad this morning, he told me to give
up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right
thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's
lap.

_______________________________________
_______________________________



Stress Reliever # 4



Wife to husband: "What's your excuse
for coming home at this time of the
night?"

Husband to wife: "Golfing with
friends, my dear."

Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?"

Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night
clubs."

_______________________________________
_______________________________



Stress Reliever # 5



A newly married man asked his
wife, "Would you have married me if my
father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied
sweetly, "I'd have married you NO
MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

_______________________________________
_______________________________



Stress Reliever # 6



Father to son after exam: "let me see
your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He
wants to scare his parents."

_______________________________________
_______________________________



Stress Reliever # 7



"How was your blind date?" a college
student asked her roommate.

"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He
showed ! up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."

"Wow! That's a very expensive car.
What 's so bad about that?"

"He was the original owner."

_______________________________________
_______________________________



Stress Reliever # 9



A teacher asked her class for
sentences using the word "beans"..

"My father grows beans," said one
student.

"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are
all human beans."

_______________________________________
_______________________________



Stress Reliever # 10



Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do
you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my
wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some
woman. What were you before you
married her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

_______________________________________
_______________________________



Stress Reliever # 11



Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and
I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the
warning.

_______________________________________
________________________________



Stress Reliever # 12



A husband was asked: "Do you talk to
your wife after sex?"

He replied: "Depends, if I can find a
phone."

_______________________________________
_______________________________



Stress Reliever # 13



Man to wife on wedding night: "Are you
sure I'm the first man you are
sleeping with?"

Wife replied: "Of course honey, I
stayed awake with all the others!"

_______________________________________
_______________________________



Stress Reliever # 14



"Why did they stop printing PAMELA
ANDERSON stamps in the U.S.?"

Answer: "Because people started
licking the wrong side."



_______________________________________
_______________________________



Stress Reliever # 15



A wife asked her husband: "What do you
like most in me - my pretty face or my
sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and
replied: "I like your sense of humour."

_______________________________________
________________________________

Stress Reliever # 16



Doctor to his lady patient: "You look
terribly weak and exhausted! Are you
having your meals three times a day as
I have advised?"

Lady replied: "Doctor, I thought you
said three males a day."
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